More Than a Memory
by Sunnykimmy
Summary: "You sure? Because you can have mine, you know." Beckett fixes him with a questioning look and smiles again. "I'm sure."


**A/N**: So... I'm a huge fan of the TV show Castle and currently suffering from Castle withdrawals. As a result, I was reading the Castle fanfic Material Witness by Polly Lynn and then this happened. It started out as a gushing comment/ review to her story and story idea. Then it continued on as my own not at all fleshed out idea inspired by her story. (Imagine an overenthusiastic 5-year old explaining something. It wasn't pretty.) But then the power went out and I couldn't post the comment. So I decided to write it. As a story. It's my first finished and published fanfic. I think it's supposed to be a one-shot. I call it a **Caspett** (as in Caskett snippet). :D I hope you enjoy it. If you read it, thank you. if you review it, thank you even more, because I'd like to know what you think. :)

**Disclaimer:** ***sigh No, I don't own Castle. But I'd settle for Caskett adopting me so I could see their relationship up close and personal. :D**

* * *

"Castle, where am I going to put all my stuff? Your stuff is everywhere!" Beckett says in an exasperated tone, looking back at Castle after peering into his closet.

"Feel free to clear some space in my closet. You can put some of my stuff in the spare room."

"I can go though your stuff? You're not afraid of what I might find, Castle?" Kate says as she raises her eyebrows, biting her lip to fight a smile.

"I have no secre-" Castle starts , as realization strikes. "Except maybe this box" he continues, removing a cardboard box from the back of his closet that was hidden behind his clothes. "What's in there, Castle?" Beckett asks, staring curiously at the box, "Your porn collection?" she continues teasingly. Castle looks shocked for a second before hiding it behind a poker face and looking away.

"Uh...you don't want to know." he says finally. "I've gotta go. I have a meeting with my publisher about the next Nikki Heat novel." he says while pointing a thumb behind him.

Beckett crosses her arms and gives Castle the look before replying "I want to see what's in the box, Castle."

"Uh...trust me, you don't want to." Castle says.

"I thought you said you didn't have any secrets." Kate says while walking towards him, causing him to move back.

"I-I don't".

"Then hand it over."

"Eh...no?"

"Why not?"

"Well, it's...a gift!"

"A gift? Right." Beckett replies disbelieving.

"Yes, for your information, it's a gift. For you. For your birthday."

"Castle, you already got me a gift for my birthday? But that's not for another two months! That's so sweet!" Beckett says, beaming up at him.

"Yes, I'm thoughtful like that." Castle says arrogantly, which immediately wipes the smile off Kate's face and replaces it with an eye roll and a quirk to her lips.

"That better be one hell of a gift, Castle."

"Oh, it is." Castle says raising one eyebrow as if to say, "Do you dare challenge my judgment?" while walking away, leaving Beckett shaking her head, a ghost of a smile on her face.

* * *

She never knew he had so much weird and crazy stuff, all sorts of toys and trinkets, an entire box of them in fact. But she should have expected it. This is Castle after all. There's a card that reads "You're explosive!" and makes the sound of a bomb going off when opened, which he might have gotten from one of his ex-wives or conquests. There's a "Welcome Home" banner with a large mother goose cartoon spreading her wings as if to hug someone, beneath the writing. Which could have been for Alexis when she came home from summer camp or something. But still, a lot of this stuff doesn't make sense. There is a stuffed animal in the shape of a full coffee cup, a pair of weird thin black string bracelets that close in what looks like silver handcuffs, a T-shirt that says "Cops Gone Wild!" which doesn't look like it would fit Castle. There's even a pack of gummi bears that look like they're way past their expiration date.

And then she sees it, a small silver box with a red satin bow tied around it. She wonders whether Castle would mind if she looked inside. He did tell her she could go through his stuff. Or at least he didn't tell her she couldn't. She stares at it for a few counts more, going back and forth. And just when she's about to put it away, she realizes that the ribbon isn't actually tied around the box, it's part of the box's design. Which means she can lift the lid. It's like she's meant to open it. Like it's a sign from the universe. And in case the contents turn out to be private, she can always put it back the way it was. Castle never needs to know. With an almost imperceptible nod of her head she acknowledges that she likes her reasoning and lifts the lid.

"A toy? Another one, Castle?" she says to an imaginary Castle. "Why would you put this one in a gift box?" she whispers, a frown creasing her brow. She lifts the toy from the box, thinking that it looks familiar, but as she does, a note flutters down into her lap. Putting down the toy she picks up the note and reads it.

_"I meant it. Always."_

She reads it again, doing a double take towards the toy and her mouth drops open. Because she knows why it's so familiar. She remembers.

* * *

_"Ooh look, they have really cool toys." Castle says as he stops in front of the display case inside the Burgeropolis._

_ "Really, Castle? Next thing you know, you're going to get yourself a kid's meal to feed your inner child." _

_"Actually-" Castle says before Beckett interrupts him. _

_"I was joking, Castle." _

_"Oh come on, Beckett, admit it, you secretly want a toy too." Castle teases. _

_"No, but I am hungry. I-" Beckett says before she's interrupted by her phone ringing. She picks up, signaling to Castle to order the burgers and fries for the couple currently sitting in jail and turns around to take the call. _

_When she ends it, she moves over to join Castle at the counter. "Did you order already?" she asks. _

_"Mhmm" Castle replies with a smile, looking oddly proud of himself. _

_"What's that look for?" Beckett asks, narrowing her eyes. _

_"You got yourself a kid's meal, didn't you?" _

_"Yep, but that's not why I'm smiling. I got you something to eat, too." _

_Just then, their order arrives. _

_Castle hands Beckett her food and she looks into the paper bag, moving her hand around the bag. "Castle, you didn't get me a toy?" she says, looking somewhere between annoyed and slightly taken aback. _

_"You told me you didn't want one! I-" Castle starts as Beckett's eyes start to twinkle and she gets a huge smile on her face. _

_"You're so easy, Castle. No, I didn't want a toy. But thanks for the burger and fries." _

_"You sure? Because you can have mine, you know." Beckett fixes him with a questioning look and smiles again. "I'm sure."_

* * *

"I meant it? Always? But that-"

"Hey, I-" Castle starts to say as he comes running in, breathing hard, stopping cold when he sees the scene before him. Beckett's sitting on the floor holding a note, _the_ note, the toy lying discarded at her feet, the other contents of the box forgotten. But it's her expression that gets to him, a combination of shock and awe, her eyes so full of emotion that it's hard to pinpoint exactly what she's thinking. He's not sure if she's going to run, hug him or yell at him, but it's not looking good.

"Oh, you found it, I came back to tell you...that it was there." He breathes out.

"Castle?" Kate says in a quiet questioning voice as she gets up and walks towards him, "What did you mean "You meant it?""

Castle moves closer to her, to the point where almost all he can see are her eyes. And they are telling him she already knows.

"Kate" he whispers, touching her cheek, moving his hand over her silken skin, but doesn't continue.

He doesn't need to. It's in his eyes, in the way he says her name, everything he feels for her, everything he's felt for her for, as far as he can tell from the moment he met her. He was just too scared to admit it back then, scared to get his heart broken again, yet he couldn't walk away. But not walking away only made him fall harder.

"But Rick, this was even before I got shot. You said it, you told me you loved me and at first I thought it was just the letter, until... until I looked at you and it made me wonder...but then you said it was ...worthless." she finishes in a barely audible whisper.

"Tell me something Kate, if I hadn't said that, would you have reciprocated? You didn't respond, what was I supposed to do?

" She looks at him crestfallen, then her expression changes as she opens her mouth as if to speak, but before he knows what's happening she's on him, kissing him as if her life depends on it and he's putting everything he has into answering.

They don't know how to have this conversation, because sometimes words just aren't enough.

So they put the unspoken words into every touch, every kiss, every look.

He explains to her with his hands how he's loved her from the moment he laid eyes on her, that he was hooked on her from the beginning and not even lying to himself and her when asked about it could keep the truth from coming out in the way he touched her.

She uses her lips to explain to him how much he meant to her, even before she met him, how she fell in love with his writing. How she was taken aback by his personality at first, his ability to enjoy life, to embrace it, to be carefree. And how she ended up falling in love with his heart, his sense of humor, his neverending ability to laugh at life... and his rugged handsomeness.

And at least for now, that explanation is enough.


End file.
